intentional love

I feel like I'm in one of those bopper games lately,  (you know, where you have the mallet and you keep hitting these things that keep popping up?) where the Lord keeps hitting me over the head with the Same. Exact. Message. A message that repeats itself almost every day, in some fashion. This message is simply, love.  Not the sappy stuff, not the romantic stuff, but genuine love for others.   

In the past 3 months, there have been numerous examples of how God has been beating this concept into me.  The one that started it all would have been our most recent missions trip to Brazil this past July.  I realize how cliché I am sounding when I say this, but truly, God changed me in SO many ways.  I could recount several different lessons I learned on this trip, but if you look at the common denominator of them all, it always comes back to love.  Genuine love.  God truly, deeply stirred my heart with a renewed passion for others, and even dare I say, a love for them, while on this trip.  I cannot explain how or when exactly, but I just know that I came back from Brazil with an 'eyes wide open' view, but probably not in the way that you are thinking. 

I have a really bad habit of closing myself off to certain people, to certain kinds of people, to people that treat me poorly or people who have hurt me, sometimes very deeply.  My automatic, knee-jerk response is one of 'well fine! See if you get close to me again!'  And sometimes, that's a legitimate, well-deserved answer.  However, oftentimes in my pain, loneliness, anger and frustration, I am cutting myself off from the very thing that I need. I found this quote remarkably pertinent to where I'm at in this journey, "You can't fully love someone if you aren't willing to hurt them occasionally or be hurt by them." (James Bitter)   I believe that I truly loved people, but the moment they crossed that line, the moment I was hurt, that changed.  I really like this quote  because life is messy, people make mistakes,  and you will get hurt.  But it is in those moments where grace should be extended, and love should endure. 

As I entered the classroom last night, I overheard a discussion between a couple classmates on the idea of acceptance and love for people. The discussion brewed out of a few concepts in our textbook about how as therapists we need to be accepting of our clients. Not as in accepting their behaviors, but accepting as in a deep appreciation for them as humans and creating an atmosphere where we come along side them, accepting where they are at and who they are as individuals. These concepts sound so very familiar, don't they?! My first reaction sitting in class was, okay God, I get the point!

Another glaring example for me came in an unusual form.  I am in one of those groups on Facebook that is a 'pastor's wife' exclusive group. I've been involved in this group for a while now, and obviously, as this is just an online group, my involvement isn't really necessary.  However, I started to noticing a purposeful neglect on my part... a fear to speak up, to give advice, to ask questions because I didn’t want to be judged by the other pastors wives.  (Seriously!? I'm in my 30's, been involved in the ministry now for over 15 years, and best of all, don’t know any of them face-to-face!) What I've come to realize as I watch post after post after post of brokenness, loneliness, judgment, ridicule, and spiritual defeat that I am not alone! We are ALL looking for the same thing, we are all in some degree going through every single one of these issues.  I started thinking, you know, if we actually used this group for it's intended purpose we would be encouraging, uplifting and LOVING each other. 

So, with that in mind I threw a comment out there asking if anyone happened to live near my city…a few responded that live in the state, but one responded that she lives just 1.5 hours from me.  I immediately thought, oh! This could be great….we could meet up and get know each other.  And then....my insecurities snuck in and I went from excitement to nervousness to 'what if she doesn’t like me?' What if we don’t get along?  So I didn't post.  But guess what? SHE did, asking if I wanted to get together!  So I said yes, and though I haven't actually met her in person yet, I have a good feeling about this. I didn't put aside my insecurities long enough to act this time, but I do think that this sort of thing is a simple step towards genuine care, love and concern for others.  And it really can be that simple, coming alongside others and sharing this journey called life with them. 

Unfortunately, 'loving people' is a concept that has been convoluted and is to many, just a cheesy response.  I am totally guilty of thinking this myself!  But I'm hoping to move to a view embraces the acceptance idea fully.  I think we as Christians have left out a very vital part of the Gospel….the genuine care, acceptance and love of other people. Coming alongside others, meeting them where they are at, embracing who they are, sharing and being the love of Jesus in their lives.  I think the Gospel is a Gospel of LOVE.  Yes! It is so much more.  But if you strip it down to it's most simplistic form, I believe you'll see God's undying, forever faithful, genuine love at the center.  If we fail to demonstrate this to others, I feel we've missed the point entirely. 

"It's easy to love those who love you, the virtue lies in loving those who don't." Darlene Schacht