the beginning of it all...

"Life is not about the storm, it's about learning to dance in the rain."  This is the phrase that started it all. Well, technically it took a reeling diagnosis of Breast Cancer to start my journey, but this phrase is what truly gave me the kick in the pants I needed to start living as though I am 'dancing in the rain.' 

Shortly after being diagnosed with Breast Cancer on May 10, 2010, a friend took me out for dinner and handed me a little pink journal, and inside was written that quote.  Just a simple quote, and in all honestly, at the time was just another  quippy quote, but not particularly meaningful or helpful.  However, later that night while I was reading bedtime stories to my kiddos, I started wondering how in the world I was going to tell them about my cancer. I mean, how do you explain to 3 & 6 year old's that mommy is really sick, that soon she'll be bald, throwing up all the time,  or so tired she can't get off the couch? 

That sobering thought hit me like a freight train, and thankfully something inside me woke up.  I realized there is SO much truth in that little quote.  Life is one big storm, there will always be problems, there will always been sickness and bumps along the path….how I choose to handle my journey with cancer is something that not only I will have to live with, but my kids too, and everyone else around me. 

I wasn't quite sure how this 'dancing in the rain' bit worked, but I knew for certain what I didn't want! I didn't want by babies to see their momma as weak,  without hope, or wallowing in self pity.  I wanted them to see me strong, to watch me fight, to know that I have hope! So with that new outlook, I began what I call my 'dancing in the rain' journey. 

The journey that began 2.5 years ago has been one giant emotional roller coaster, as one might expect when that nasty word 'cancer' is uttered.  I have filled many journals to overflowing, all of which remain unread by anyone other than me, and yet I still have words that need sound, tears that need shed, and emotions that need expressing.  As I was growing up, to really wrap my head around what I was going through, I started journaling…incessantly.  This blog is an extension of that journaling process.  But hopefully it will be a blog about encouragement, about sharing my struggles and my dreams so that someday, somewhere, somehow it might help even just one other person to learn that life is worth living, and begin their own 'Dance in the Rain!'